The Transylvania Cassanova

My friends and family often tell me about "success stories" of people they know who have met online.  I was initially very hesitant and refused to consider creating a profile.  However, after years of hearing these success stories, I decided to embrace my reality and give it a shot.  Giovanni is one of the men I have met through one of the many online dating sites I have now tried.

It was a Sunday night and a terrible storm had decided to engulf the area with wind and rain.  A chai tea latte sounded good, so we met me at a Starbucks between his house and mine.  (Sometimes I don't know why I agree to meet these guys, but I just think you can tell so much more about someone in person.)  I walk in and think I might see him because it's the only guy who is alone, but he looks like he could potentially be my father... or at least my uncle.  He saw me and instantly recognized me because I had posted current pictures.  He said hello with a strong (Russian, Italian, German?) accent and kissed my hand.  He actually said, "Hello, Bella." (Imagine the accent... it's way better that way.)

He seemed very impressed, and actually probably said that a few times, but I already knew I wanted to leave.  I don't like to be rude, though, so decided to stay and at least give him a chance beyond my first impression... My gut isn't always right.  He then proceeded to talk (a LOT) and almost interview me on various political and religious beliefs, but he didn't really want to hear what I had to say.  He just wanted to make sure that I basically agreed with him and would then go off explaining his opinions... for looonnggg periods of time.  Throughout the conversation he was telling me about how perfect of a match we were and that we agree on everything and that we believe the same things, etc.  It was as if he had decided I would make a good wife and he was making sure I knew it.

At one point, he stood up, walked over to the barista at the counter and started asking for something, but he couldn't understand what Giovanni was trying to say (due to the strong accent).  Eventually, he got his point across and got a black sticker that they put on the food items.  He came back over to me grabbed my hand and told me that he "claimed" me to be his wife and that I would love it in Transylvania... his home country... when we went back to visit his family.

At this point, you might be thinking, "Really?!?  There's no way that actually happened."  I assure you, though, that Giovanni was absolutely serious and continued with his plan of winning me over, despite the look of utter shock that overtook my face.

He wanted me to go with him so much so, that he thought it would be helpful to tell me over and over again how beautiful it is and how Transylvania is not like what people often imagine with vampires and such.  At that point, he also proceeded to lean forward to kiss me!  I turned my head so he got my cheek, but I was a little taken aback by that.  Giovanni was unfazed.  He even almost called his sister while we were on the date to introduce us...

I told him no thanks.

He walked me to my car, I got in, put my umbrella away, and when I turned to say goodbye & close my door, he leaned in to kiss me again!  Again, I turned my head so he got my cheek.  I was semi-shocked by his boldness to go for the kiss again on the same date after one rejection just 30 minutes earlier, but at the same time, he didn't seem too concerned with my reaction or response to anything... As long as he could find a way to get me back to his home country.  He failed, but he gave me a good laugh as I recounted my evening to my friends.

Conversation Killer Kyle... aka the Silent Straw Story

As you read these stories about my life, I hope they bring a smile to your face and laughter to your day.  Since you don't know me, I think it is only fair to give you this small warning: I have this tendency to include more detail than is needed to get the main points across, but that's because it is all part of the story in my mind... it just ends up making a short story, a little bit longer.  With that said...

I had been talking online with this guy for probably about 2 weeks.  He seemed funny and our communication felt fairly natural.  It wasn't awkward or forced... just fun.  So, he asked me my favorite burger and I told him TK Burgers is great.

We decided to meet there for our first time meeting in person.  After church on Sunday afternoon, we met up for lunch and my first thought was... he's a little shorter than I had pictured... even though I had seen pictures. :)  We went inside and stood in line to order our food.  We were next and he held his hand out as if to say, "after you."  I proceeded to order at which point I noticed he went to a different line.  That's when I realized this lunch was on me.  That is also when I realized that TK only takes cash and I had none with me.

I awkwardly had to tell the cashier that I forgot they don't take cards and the guy looked over and said, "Oh!  Did you want me to pay for that?"  I wish you could hear the tone of disgust that was in his voice... It was clear he didn't want to pay the $3.43 that my lunch cost, so I said he didn't need to, got out of line to go to the ATM to pay the $2 surcharge to get out money to pay for my lunch.  I went back to the cashier and paid.  It wasn't enough for me to instantly decide against seeing this guy again because I didn't really know how the online dating thing worked and people have different expectations, etc, but he definitely hadn't made a good first impression.

We sat down and talked for a bit, but I felt like I was leading the whole conversation.  He wouldn't talk unless I asked him a question and I don't think he asked one question in return.  I tried to tell a few stories or talk about myself a little bit, but it was just incredibly draining.  At some point, I thought that it might be because I was talking too much and he didn't know when to interject so I decided that I would make it clear that I was taking a break... I picked up my cup (that happened to be empty other than ice) and "sipped" my drink for at least a minute straight as I was waiting for him to say ANYTHING!  The whole time, he didn't say a single word.  It was SO awkward.  I looked at him, I looked away, I didn't know what to do except keep sipping, waiting for him to say something.  I even awkwardly smiled with the straw still in my mouth, as I kept looking back and forth like one of those cat clocks.

Eventually, I put down my cup and looked at my watch (or phone or something to see the time).  At least he picked up on THAT clue.  He looked at his watch and said he didn't know how much time he had left on his meter.  I jumped on that opportunity to affirm the fact that we should leave.  He walked me to my car and we said goodbye, but I was SO relieved to be done with that date.

That One Date Story... Everybody's Got One

Sometimes it feels like dating is a 10K race... you need to be prepared (but it's very doable), you need to pace yourself (it's definitely not a sprint), and it's the perfect distance to have fun along the way.  But every once in a while, you run into an unexpected obstacle or two... like a lake that's deeper than you are tall that you have to cross.

Everyone who is active in the dating world has at least one good date story... and what makes a good date story?

A bad date... an awkward date... an unexpected twist...

For whatever reason, I have a vast array of experiences with these types of dates in my own life.  Since I like bringing joy and laughter to others, I have decided to begin this blog.  Now you, along with my family and friends, can read with intrigue, anticipation, and occasional shock as the details of each date unfold.

After I get a few stories posted, I'm sure you will start to have favorites... let me know which ones you like the most.  And hey- maybe you'll be reading and think that I would be a perfect match for one of your brothers or friends or colleagues.  Maybe they'll make the good, good date story that changes my dating trend.

Stories to look for in the future:

Conversation Killer Kyle

Dinosaur Dave

Loser Luis

Mistletoe Mike

Boring Brian

and many, many others