Conversation Killer Kyle... aka the Silent Straw Story

As you read these stories about my life, I hope they bring a smile to your face and laughter to your day.  Since you don't know me, I think it is only fair to give you this small warning: I have this tendency to include more detail than is needed to get the main points across, but that's because it is all part of the story in my mind... it just ends up making a short story, a little bit longer.  With that said...

I had been talking online with this guy for probably about 2 weeks.  He seemed funny and our communication felt fairly natural.  It wasn't awkward or forced... just fun.  So, he asked me my favorite burger and I told him TK Burgers is great.

We decided to meet there for our first time meeting in person.  After church on Sunday afternoon, we met up for lunch and my first thought was... he's a little shorter than I had pictured... even though I had seen pictures. :)  We went inside and stood in line to order our food.  We were next and he held his hand out as if to say, "after you."  I proceeded to order at which point I noticed he went to a different line.  That's when I realized this lunch was on me.  That is also when I realized that TK only takes cash and I had none with me.

I awkwardly had to tell the cashier that I forgot they don't take cards and the guy looked over and said, "Oh!  Did you want me to pay for that?"  I wish you could hear the tone of disgust that was in his voice... It was clear he didn't want to pay the $3.43 that my lunch cost, so I said he didn't need to, got out of line to go to the ATM to pay the $2 surcharge to get out money to pay for my lunch.  I went back to the cashier and paid.  It wasn't enough for me to instantly decide against seeing this guy again because I didn't really know how the online dating thing worked and people have different expectations, etc, but he definitely hadn't made a good first impression.

We sat down and talked for a bit, but I felt like I was leading the whole conversation.  He wouldn't talk unless I asked him a question and I don't think he asked one question in return.  I tried to tell a few stories or talk about myself a little bit, but it was just incredibly draining.  At some point, I thought that it might be because I was talking too much and he didn't know when to interject so I decided that I would make it clear that I was taking a break... I picked up my cup (that happened to be empty other than ice) and "sipped" my drink for at least a minute straight as I was waiting for him to say ANYTHING!  The whole time, he didn't say a single word.  It was SO awkward.  I looked at him, I looked away, I didn't know what to do except keep sipping, waiting for him to say something.  I even awkwardly smiled with the straw still in my mouth, as I kept looking back and forth like one of those cat clocks.

Eventually, I put down my cup and looked at my watch (or phone or something to see the time).  At least he picked up on THAT clue.  He looked at his watch and said he didn't know how much time he had left on his meter.  I jumped on that opportunity to affirm the fact that we should leave.  He walked me to my car and we said goodbye, but I was SO relieved to be done with that date.