Trivial Topher

When I started emailing back and forth with Topher, I really had high hopes.  His emails made me laugh.  He added substance and depth to our conversations.  We shared the same beliefs.  We had common interests... he even played ultimate frisbee multiple times a week... so did I!!  Things were looking quite well for our first date.  With so much to talk about, surely we would enjoy each other's company!  Right?

...right?

After so many other bad dates (and I haven't even shared the one yet that gave me nightmares for months), I had started  to be a bit more picky about who I would choose to date... I was actually even a little bit excited to meet Topher.  We were going to have so much fun!  We were even going to a new restaurant/cafe that I had never tried... more bonus points!

With much anticipation, the day finally arrived.  I drove to The Boiler and as I pulled up, I saw Topher getting out of his car.  He had a big smile on his face... and I was still happy to be there.  First impressions seemed to be going pretty well for both of us.

But then came the rest of the date...
Have you ever had a date that just seemed blah?  There was no connection at all?  Where it was like talking to your classmate's friend?  So you were trying to be polite and still leave a good impression, but not because you cared about what the other person thought?  This is what the rest of the date felt like.  There was nothing inherently wrong with Topher... or our date... but it was all just...

...trivial.

The humor no longer came out.  The depth of conversation moved to the shallow end.  Everything that had made me excited to meet Topher had just vanished.  After lunch, we even drove to a nearby park to throw around a frisbee for a little bit, but even with something we both loved so much, there was absolutely no connection.

Maybe it was just nerves.  Or maybe I was the bad date this time (hard to imagine... I know!).  Maybe my expectations were too high.  Whatever the reason, Topher & I didn't really talk after that.

I almost didn't include Topher's story here, but then I realized... I am sharing my dating experiences... the good, the bad, and the boring. :)  So, even if you haven't had an experience similar to any of my others... most people will be able to relate to Trivial Topher and the shock of boredom that will jolt you into the realization that you are still on a journey and running that 10K (see my very first post for the reference here). I haven't reached the finish line yet, and I'm sure there will be many more trivial dates along the way.  I'm just praying now that all this dating isn't a trivial pursuit. :)

(haha... I know you had to laugh at my Trivial Pursuit joke... I laughed when I thought of it, AND when I typed it.) :)

Coming next... Boring Brian (this one is actually funny, though... not boring) and then... the much anticipated Dinosaur Dave!  Reactions to this story in person range from hysterical laughing to gasps of horror and disbelief... it's one of my favorites to tell for that reason alone.

Mistletoe Mike

I still have so many options of stories to tell, it is sometimes difficult for me to choose, but... my friend has been requesting this one since I started this blog, so here it is: The story of Mistletoe Mike.

The first date (yes... I said first... meaning that I actually saw him a second time) was fairly standard, but not great, and I didn't think I was super interested, but I felt kind of bad because he was definitely interested and over the phone the conversation was actually pretty good.  I figured he was nervous... especially since it was almost like a date planned out of a text book.  We met at Starbucks for coffee.  After about 45 minutes (and after checking his watch a few times), he asked if I had eaten and would like to get dinner.  We walked down a few doors to a cute little restaurant in Brea and enjoyed a pretty good dinner at which point he asked if I had other plans and would like to go see "Blindside" since we had talked about it during dinner.  Isn't that what everyone hears as the "how to" of a first date- ask her for coffee, if it's bad you have an easy out.  But if it's good, you keep going... but just one step at a time.

I really wanted to see the movie and it was just a little awkward, but not too bad, so we walked over to the theater to check times and it was just starting.  (It felt like this guy was trying to convince me why I should want to marry him like the Transylvania guy... Why do people do that?)

Anyway- the first really funny part (and where I should probably have ended it... since it didn't bother me too much that he was already talking about me meeting his family and our future life together) is at the end of that date... We walked back to the parking lot and he walked me back to my car.  A sweet gesture in my mind and he had started to gain a few points.  But then, he walked me to the other side of my car (apparently I tried to say bye too soon?).  I had my door open and was getting into my car when I looked over my shoulder to say goodbye.  When I looked over he had his arms open for a hug so I took the three steps to hug him.  During those three steps he mumbled, "Can I get a hug and a kiss goodbye?"  I was already in the act of giving him a hug when he asked, but he didn't give me a chance to reply before he went in for the kiss... It was SO uncomfortable.  I instantly jumped back and said, "...OOoorr just a hug..."  I felt bad, but didn't know what else to do.  I just knew I didn't want to kiss him.

Okay... so that was the end of date one, but way earlier in the date he had asked if I wanted to go to a hockey game because he had free tickets to the Ducks game the next Saturday afternoon.  I had already said I would go, so I went, but he knew I needed to leave early because I had plans that night with another friend.  We met at Starbucks again to ride together and when I got in his car to go to the game, he had bought me a box of chocolates.  A bit much for the second time we'd met, but sweet nonetheless.

At the hockey game, since it was near Christmas, they had the "mistletoe cam" that started going around.  He instantly said (with excitement), "Maybe it'll stop on us!"

And I instantly thought, "Oh no!  What happens if the camera stops on us?!?!?  Am I gonna be that big jerk and deny him in front of thousands of people?"  As I was deciding my level of jerky-ness... he STOOD UP and was trying to wave down the camera!  That's when he really blew it... I was already leaning as far away from him as possible (so he would get the clue) and kept my straw in my mouth the whole time, but he didn't care.  I glanced up at him, leaning farther and farther away, but it didn't seem to deter him.  I think I was practically in the seat next to me- that was on the opposite side of him.  Thankfully, the camera people got the hint even if Mike didn't, so it didn't stop on us, but uugghh... I was completely done with him by then and said we needed to go.  Then, on the way out he still offered to buy me a tshirt.  Don't worry, though, I politely refused so he wouldn't have to spend money on something that wasn't going anywhere.

I just laugh when I remember pushing back to refuse his kiss and then a week later... literally 7 days later... him trying again with the mistletoe camera.  Haha... I guess at least he's persistent, right?

Cautious Keith

Warning: This one is kind of long... funny... but long... :)

Something you might not know about me, is that for the past 8 years, I have always had many roommates... the most at one time was 8 (that means 9 girls in 1 house!) and I believe I have always been the oldest, at least by a couple years.  With that many girls, I don't think we had any other choice but to talk about guys on a pretty regular basis.  And being the oldest, the others always wanted to set me up on dates.

I don't know how many times in my life I've been asked if I'm willing to go on a blind date.  My response is always the same... Of course I'm willing!

I realize that my pool of potential boyfriends is greatly expanded if I can multiply it by my friends' friends!

My "date" with Keith is the result of one such statement.  Two of my roommates went to the same church and recently had gotten to interact with Keith.  They thought very highly of him... and since he was clearly older than either of them, that meant he would be perfect for me, right?

Well, they talked to me first, to see if I was open to meeting him... then they talked to Keith to see if he wanted to meet me.  My response?  You guessed it- Of course I'm willing!

Keith's response?  Sure... but as long as our meeting wasn't going to be a date.  That would be too much pressure and he was wary of getting into another serious relationship.  In order to make sure it wasn't a date, he said he would like to meet me in a group setting... at some activity or event that was already happening that we both happened to attend.

I thought I was just agreeing to a date, so I'm glad he had the foresight to put the brakes on before we met!  (I hope by now you can hear the sarcasm in that statement.)  After all, who would want that burden and weight on their shoulders?  It would be crushing.

Well, my roommates didn't know of any actual natural reason my path & Keith's would cross, so they decided to create this "natural" setting, by inviting us both to lunch at Chipotle after church.  They wanted to make sure it wasn't awkward with just the two of them and me & Keith, so they invited other mutual friends. In the end, there were probably about 15 people who came... and they ALL knew that this lunch was for the sole purpose of Keith & I meeting!  (Possibly with the exception of Keith)

Talk about awkward!  I can handle blind dates... I can handle group dates... But a blind date with an audience?!  At the same table?!  I don't know anyone who could make that seem natural.

We stood in line, ordered our burritos, tacos, & bowls, and as we all sat down my roommates made sure to point out a seat for me in the middle of the tables, right across from where they told Keith to sit.  Keith and I had a great conversation and it was actually relatively enjoyable... then I started getting distracted by the conversations surrounding me.

I first heard one friend say my name, but when I looked in her direction I knew she was talking ABOUT me and not TO me.  Then, I heard my name again... and Keith's name... and my name again.  We were the center of EVERY conversation at that table, but were not a part of any conversation... except our own... despite both of us trying to include others in our discussion.

We sat at Chipotle for 2 hours, talked about a variety of topics... and we were being analyzed the entire time.  I tried SO hard to focus on Keith, but must admit that I was probably the bad date (or non-date) that day, since I kept turning my eyes every time I heard my name.

I don't know whether or not Keith noticed, but I'm pretty sure the setting added more pressure to our meeting than just going on a simple coffee date... just the two of us... without the live studio audience sitting at our table.

Forgettable Frank... Or was it Fred... Or???

A few days ago, I had the awesome opportunity to go to the Long Beach Aquarium with my family to watch my dad go scuba diving in the main tank... with all the cool fish, a sea turtle, and even a few sharks!

As we were at lunch on the way to the aquarium, I started to have this foggy, distant memory with vague details slowly coming to mind.  I looked at my sister and mom across the table and with a perplexed look on my face said, "I think I went on a date to the Long Beach Aquarium at some point in my life... but... I can't remember who the guy was."  They laughed a little and probably didn't think much of it.

But the lack of detail was driving me crazy!  I could not believe that I could remember the aquarium, but had no recollection of my date.  I decided that maybe the details would be filled in throughout the rest of the day. Lucky for you... I was right!

...Kind of...

I remember a guy picking me up from a neighbor's house (I was cat-sitting... yes, cat-sitting... while they were away for a couple weeks).  I remember his old white truck with no A/C and windows that were barely functioning.  I remember where we parked and the tacos he ate before we went inside.  I even remember walking around the Lighthouse nearby, the family that asked us to take a picture, and each of the exhibits we saw together.

We watched my dad dive, which was an amazing experience, but still... I had no recollection of this mystery man.  The drive home provided more time to ponder the details of this date, and here is as much as I can remember:

After the aquarium, Mr. Forgettable asked if I was interested in grabbing dinner and we ended up at Flame Broiler near my house.  I was planning to go to a movie that night with a couple friends.  When I explained that I needed to pick up my friend for the movie, he eagerly mentioned that he also really wanted to see the same movie... What a coincidence, right?  So, I casually invited him along.

What can I say?  I like people.

We had to trade his truck for my car and first picked up one friend.  Then another.  The second friend had a few errands to run, so we joined her.  First stop: our church.  She needed to finish preparations for Sunday School the next day.  Second stop: Target, to pick out a gift for a wedding shower.  At this point, I was still debating my thoughts on Mr. Forgettable.  Our time together was... neutral... un-memorable.  At Target, though, I think he set his fate with me in motion.  Why, you ask?  Because he vanished... almost literally... I looked through the entire store with no luck.  I am still unsure of where he went or what he did, but when he finally returned my call, it was with a text: "Where r u? Did u leave?"

I thought fairly sarcastically, "Yes.  I left.  I went to the movie without you and now you have to figure out how to get back to your truck... that is parked at my house."

The end of the date is about as forgettable as the guy who accompanied me.  We watched the movie, dropped off my friends, and I took him back to his truck.  The only detail I remember about the end is his comment about the Pirates of the Caribbean movie that we watched... "It was a little bit complicated.  I think I'll need to watch it again to really get it."  A comment that is not uncommon with many movies, but usually those movies involve more complicated plots than fighting pirates.

The date itself isn't THAT funny, but I still can't remember what the guy looks like, his name, or anything else about him other than the details you've just read... and it still drives me just a little bit crazy. :)

Needless to say, this is another date that didn't make it past the first one.