Dinosaur Dave... The rest of the story

**If you haven't read part 1 to this story, it really is a lot better if you read it in order.**

Also... this is the part the gets a WIDE variety of responses.  You will soon understand why.

Fast forward 3 years.  I had not been on any dates since my less-than-pleasant experience with Dave.  I was taking Salsa dancing class instead of tennis.  And, I was in my upper division Social Work classes- one of which happened to be basic criminology.  One of our projects for this class was to observe and analyze a real case in a courtroom.  There were a few specific requirements, but the primary objective was to record as much detail as possible while in the courtroom.

Like any good college student, I waited until the week before the assignment was due to get started.  It happened to be the week before Thanksgiving.  I drove to the courthouse first thing in the morning and asked the court worker where I could find a case in progress.  After hours of listening to deposition after deposition, but no actual cases I was starting to wonder if I'd be able to complete my paper.  I decided to take matters into my own hands and just peek in all of the courtrooms that were open.

I walked around the hallways and as far as I know found the only courtroom with a case in progress.  There was a sign outside the door that said, "Please be quiet when entering the courtroom.  Closing arguments in progress."  Success!!

As slowly and quietly as possible, I opened the door and took my place in the observation section of the courtroom.  I felt slightly awkward since I was literally the only person in the room that was not directly involved in the case.  But I was determined to use this case for my assignment.  And... I didn't really have any other options.  The prosecution gave their closing argument first and as the details of the case were summarized, I was intrigued:

The location of the alleged crime was my university (this made me wonder if I'd ever seen anyone involved)

It happened at the high school that happens to be on our campus (so I figured I probably hadn't ever run into anyone involved).

The defendant was being charged with 2 counts each of 2 different sexual crimes against 2 minors (it wasn't called assault, but basically he was being charged with behaving inappropriately with them).

The defendant was a P.E. teacher at the high school & they were at the university's health center in our Student Union building... where I spent much of my free time.

The prosecuting attorney reviewed details of the case and by the time he was finished, I was convinced the guy was guilty and was wondering whether or not we had ever crossed paths.

By the time the prosecution finished their closing arguments, it was time for lunch and the judge called a recess.

When we all returned, it was time for the defense's closing arguments.  By now, I'd gotten a better view of the defendant but still couldn't decide whether or not I recognized him from campus.

The defense outlined some facts of the defendant to demonstrate his character:

David ---- (what was Dave's last name, again?? Did I ever know it?)

He was a lifeguard (There could be more than one Dave/David who was a lifeguard who attended my university... right?  I'm sure of it.)

He was a girls' gymnastics coach for many years (umm... I don't think there could be more than one David, from my university, who was both a lifeguard and a girls' gymnastics coach... did I really go on a date with the defendant in this case???)

At that point, I blank out a little bit on the remaining details of the case.  The defense finished their arguments and left me unable to decide whether or not Dave was guilty.  I was stunned.  I was shocked.  I was relieved that I had not gone on a second date with the man who was now a defendant in this case.  The jury went into deliberation and as I left the courthouse Dave & I looked at each other, but I will never know if he recognized me.  The jury was still out the rest of the week so I will also never know the verdict of the case.

Of all the courthouses and courtrooms I could have chosen for this assignment, I ended up in the one with my old date as the defendant.  And I thought that stuff only happened on television.

It was slightly traumatic at the time, but is now a distant memory that I share with an animated reenactment usually ending in more stories and a lot of laughter.

Dinosaur Dave...

So... Dave is a slightly involved story, but if you bare with me through the details, I think they'll really contribute to your understanding and appreciation of the situation.

I first met Dave the last quarter of my freshman year in tennis class at my university.  Now he must have been in the class with me all quarter, but it's tennis... the maximum number of people you interact with at any given time is 3 (and that's if you play doubles) so I didn't even know he existed until the last day of class after we had finished our final.  Yes.  A written final in tennis.  A little strange, but true.  Well, on that sunny Southern California day as we were standing outside the fence of the tennis court, the conversation in our group turned to summer plans and lifeguarding (a common experience!).

Dave began sharing about his participation in lifeguard competitions, mentioned how they were held every summer, and suggested that I might enjoy observing them sometime.  Without making any connection beyond lifeguarding, I thought it did indeed sound interesting.  He got my email address so he could send me information about that year's competition when he found it.

Well, a few weeks later I got an email from Dave.  However, it had absolutely nothing to do with a lifeguarding competition.  In fact, not a word was mentioned about being a lifeguard!  I was a little caught off guard.  Now, I don't still have the email he sent (it was quite a while ago), but it went something like this:


Hi Becky,
This is Dave from tennis. I'm not sure if you remember me but I was wondering if you might be interested maybe you and I could possibly go out if you want to sometime.
Dave


I thought it was sweet and I had a vague recollection of our lifeguarding conversation, so I said sure.  He asked for my phone number and called to arrange the date.  By the time our date rolled around (a week or two later), we had spoken once in class and once on the phone.  So technically this wasn't a blind date, although, it might as well have been... soon, you'll understand why.

It was the end of June, the weather was beautiful, I had a new skirt for my date and I was just about to get ready when I got a phone call from my neighbor and close friend.  Her husband was sick and was on his way to the hospital.  They had a 2 year old daughter and a 4 month old daughter.  I was the only one other than family who ever babysat and she asked if I could come over so she could go to the hospital.  As soon as I got the call, I was prepared to cancel my date.  Immediately I went next door and told my friend to go to the hospital.  She left.  I was now responsible for 2 small children until further notice.  But when my friend realized I was supposed to go out that night, she called her aunt to be my replacement.

The date was back on.  Dave had no idea any of this was going on.  This may have increased the unintentional shock factor that evening when he pulled up to my parents house and saw:
Me, standing in the front yard holding a 4 month old baby on my hip
A toddler running around the front yard in cute pink dress
BOTH of my parents standing in the front yard talking to...
My friend's aunt (an older Scottish woman)
My best friend's mom (who had just happened to stop by to say hi to my family)
My brother
My sister
AND
Her fiance

All TEN of us were in the front yard of my parents' house... either standing, sitting on the porch swing, holding a baby, or talking about how potentially serious the condition was of the guy in the hospital.

Although I admit Dave must have been shocked and could have driven away without stopping in front of the craziness, I might have been even more stunned when I saw him get out of his black pickup truck.  I didn't remember anyone looking like that in my tennis class and it is NOT what I was expecting.  I clung to the 4 month old, thinking, "OH MY GOODNESS!! THAT GUY IS SO OLD! He could be my dad's best friend!  I'll hold on to the baby and there is no way my dad will let me go out with this guy.  Everything will be okay."

Less than a minute later, my sister gets up, takes the baby and says, "Go say hi, at least."

Reluctantly, I release my "security blanket" (aka- my friend's baby), walk over to Dave, and we head over to his truck to go to dinner at the Irvine Spectrum and then play a round of miniature golf.  On the way to dinner, my main priority was for Dave to realize that I was only 19 years old and that I was clearly too young for him.  He must have thought that I was much older than 19... right?

Well, I don't remember the questions he asked, but I very clearly remember my answers.  At least 3 times before dinner Dave asked me something about how long I'd known my neighbors and how long I'd lived in the same city and that house.  Each and every time I emphatically stated that it was NINETEEN YEARS! ...my WHOLE LIFE!!  Or my WHOLE LIFE... just NINETEEN YEARS!  I was quite proud of myself for making it so easy for Dave to learn my age so he would know that I was still practically a child in comparison to him.

And this is where the story gets good...

We sit down at the restaurant and start talking.  I find out that he was a girls' gymnastics coach part time, in addition to being a lifeguard.  Fascinating?  Yes.  Enough to make up for the huge difference in age?  No.  Then I find out that he is a Jehovah's Witness.  Now, I am sure there are many wonderful people in the world who follow those beliefs, but they are quite different from my own... and I was quite aware of this fact, but was beginning to think that Dave didn't mind my age, so I had to make it clear in any way possible that he should not ask me out again.  I asked him the differences in his beliefs and my own.  He said they were basically the same, except for 2 key foundations to my faith.  I asked about his experience going from door to door and I actually told him at one point that if he were to come to my door I would shut the door in his face!

I was desperate!  I kept thinking that my date would be so much better if Dave and our waiter would just trade places.  The conversation was decent, but I was definitely not interested in Dave beyond that night, and it felt like the night was never ending.  At one point, I finally looked around and noticed that the restaurant staff had already put the chairs on the tables in the dining room.  Eventually I realized that even our waiter had gone home after he dropped off the check at our table.  I didn't know what to do... and this was just dinner.

Luckily, however, Dave noticed the time and suggested that he just take me home so my dad wouldn't send out a search party.  I was SO grateful that everyone had been in the front yard so he had to at least meet my dad (even if it was for less than a minute).  By the time we pulled onto my street, it was nearly 1am.  I was exhausted, relieved the date was almost over, and was confident that I had made it clear that I was not interested in any future dates.  BUT- he asked me out again, anyway!!  I politely refused as he pulled up to my house, I got out of his truck, and said goodbye.

Dave didn't seem like a terrible guy... just very, very wrong for me.

And that was the end of that story


.....or so I thought.