I first met Dave the last quarter of my freshman year in tennis class at my university. Now he must have been in the class with me all quarter, but it's tennis... the maximum number of people you interact with at any given time is 3 (and that's if you play doubles) so I didn't even know he existed until the last day of class after we had finished our final. Yes. A written final in tennis. A little strange, but true. Well, on that sunny Southern California day as we were standing outside the fence of the tennis court, the conversation in our group turned to summer plans and lifeguarding (a common experience!).
Dave began sharing about his participation in lifeguard competitions, mentioned how they were held every summer, and suggested that I might enjoy observing them sometime. Without making any connection beyond lifeguarding, I thought it did indeed sound interesting. He got my email address so he could send me information about that year's competition when he found it.
Well, a few weeks later I got an email from Dave. However, it had absolutely nothing to do with a lifeguarding competition. In fact, not a word was mentioned about being a lifeguard! I was a little caught off guard. Now, I don't still have the email he sent (it was quite a while ago), but it went something like this:
Hi Becky,
This is Dave from tennis. I'm not sure if you remember me but I was wondering if you might be interested maybe you and I could possibly go out if you want to sometime.
Dave
I thought it was sweet and I had a vague recollection of our lifeguarding conversation, so I said sure. He asked for my phone number and called to arrange the date. By the time our date rolled around (a week or two later), we had spoken once in class and once on the phone. So technically this wasn't a blind date, although, it might as well have been... soon, you'll understand why.
It was the end of June, the weather was beautiful, I had a new skirt for my date and I was just about to get ready when I got a phone call from my neighbor and close friend. Her husband was sick and was on his way to the hospital. They had a 2 year old daughter and a 4 month old daughter. I was the only one other than family who ever babysat and she asked if I could come over so she could go to the hospital. As soon as I got the call, I was prepared to cancel my date. Immediately I went next door and told my friend to go to the hospital. She left. I was now responsible for 2 small children until further notice. But when my friend realized I was supposed to go out that night, she called her aunt to be my replacement.
The date was back on. Dave had no idea any of this was going on. This may have increased the unintentional shock factor that evening when he pulled up to my parents house and saw:
Me, standing in the front yard holding a 4 month old baby on my hip
A toddler running around the front yard in cute pink dress
BOTH of my parents standing in the front yard talking to...
My friend's aunt (an older Scottish woman)
My best friend's mom (who had just happened to stop by to say hi to my family)
My brother
My sister
AND
Her fiance
All TEN of us were in the front yard of my parents' house... either standing, sitting on the porch swing, holding a baby, or talking about how potentially serious the condition was of the guy in the hospital.
Although I admit Dave must have been shocked and could have driven away without stopping in front of the craziness, I might have been even more stunned when I saw him get out of his black pickup truck. I didn't remember anyone looking like that in my tennis class and it is NOT what I was expecting. I clung to the 4 month old, thinking, "OH MY GOODNESS!! THAT GUY IS SO OLD! He could be my dad's best friend! I'll hold on to the baby and there is no way my dad will let me go out with this guy. Everything will be okay."
Less than a minute later, my sister gets up, takes the baby and says, "Go say hi, at least."
Well, I don't remember the questions he asked, but I very clearly remember my answers. At least 3 times before dinner Dave asked me something about how long I'd known my neighbors and how long I'd lived in the same city and that house. Each and every time I emphatically stated that it was NINETEEN YEARS! ...my WHOLE LIFE!! Or my WHOLE LIFE... just NINETEEN YEARS! I was quite proud of myself for making it so easy for Dave to learn my age so he would know that I was still practically a child in comparison to him.
And this is where the story gets good...
We sit down at the restaurant and start talking. I find out that he was a girls' gymnastics coach part time, in addition to being a lifeguard. Fascinating? Yes. Enough to make up for the huge difference in age? No. Then I find out that he is a Jehovah's Witness. Now, I am sure there are many wonderful people in the world who follow those beliefs, but they are quite different from my own... and I was quite aware of this fact, but was beginning to think that Dave didn't mind my age, so I had to make it clear in any way possible that he should not ask me out again. I asked him the differences in his beliefs and my own. He said they were basically the same, except for 2 key foundations to my faith. I asked about his experience going from door to door and I actually told him at one point that if he were to come to my door I would shut the door in his face!
I was desperate! I kept thinking that my date would be so much better if Dave and our waiter would just trade places. The conversation was decent, but I was definitely not interested in Dave beyond that night, and it felt like the night was never ending. At one point, I finally looked around and noticed that the restaurant staff had already put the chairs on the tables in the dining room. Eventually I realized that even our waiter had gone home after he dropped off the check at our table. I didn't know what to do... and this was just dinner.
Luckily, however, Dave noticed the time and suggested that he just take me home so my dad wouldn't send out a search party. I was SO grateful that everyone had been in the front yard so he had to at least meet my dad (even if it was for less than a minute). By the time we pulled onto my street, it was nearly 1am. I was exhausted, relieved the date was almost over, and was confident that I had made it clear that I was not interested in any future dates. BUT- he asked me out again, anyway!! I politely refused as he pulled up to my house, I got out of his truck, and said goodbye.
Dave didn't seem like a terrible guy... just very, very wrong for me.
And that was the end of that story
.....or so I thought.
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