Boring Brian

Remember how I said that if someone wants to set me up on a date, I'm all in?  Well, Brian was the first date that someone actually followed through with her promise.  One of my former roommates and I would often talk about guys and dating and potential dates... like so many girls do.  One Sunday night, she came home from her church group and brought her best friend.  As the three of us were talking, she got really excited about setting up a bunch of her friends on blind dates... and she wanted us all to go out together for the first time.  She had this elaborate idea of how it would all work, too, to ensure that everyone would have a good time.  The initial proposal would have resulted in 10-16 people going out together as a group, but each with a specific match in mind... I told you it was elaborate.

In the end, only four of us agreed to this group blind date, but since she was the only connection we all had, we each separately told her that she still needed to go (even though her date fell through).  Now, you might be thinking... at least there were five of you... it couldn't have been THAT boring, right?  Actually, you are right.  That first night wasn't too bad.  It just wasn't very interesting either, so I won't bore you with the details.  It IS important to note, however, that at our final stop of the evening after eating Yogurtland frozen yogurt, I DID kind of fall asleep... but just a little bit!

Apparently, Brian understood that I was just tired because he called me that week to ask me on a date with just the two of us.  It sounded like a good idea, so I happily agreed.  He picked me up and my first hint that this might not be the greatest date ever should have been when he asked me if I knew how to get to the place he wanted to go.  I was distracted, though, because the place we were headed was this super fun arcade on the boardwalk that I grew up going to!  How could we NOT have a great time at an arcade?!

Well, on our way to the arcade we stopped for dinner.  Since Brian didn't want to go to one of the chain restaurants at the beach, he decided to stop at this place we saw on the side of the road called "Shorehouse Cafe."  You could tell it had been around for a while and on the door, in that self-adhesive lettering let us know that they had "The best food around!"  As soon as we walked in, I think Brian's jaw dropped because it turns out that "cafe" actually meant lounge/bar.  There were plenty of people inside, but they were all middle-aged men, sitting at the square bar in the middle of the room, and they all turned to stare at us as the hostess confirmed that there would be 2 of us that evening.  So far... the date was actually somewhat amusing with the inner commentary I had going on in my head. :)

Then we sat down and the actual conversation started.  At first it was normal get-to-know-you topics and during that time he accidentally mentioned his ex-wife... Now, I was in my early twenties at the time, so I was a bit shocked to discover that he had been married and divorced already (something my roommate neglected to mention when she set me up with him).  As shocking as that was, I understand that it's not the end of the world and maintained my composure as we continued our date.  By the time dinner was over, I was REALLY excited for the arcades.  I thought it would give us something to do to break up some of the monotony and interview-like-feeling that was already taking over our conversation.

Little did I know, that when Brian asked about the arcades on the boardwalk, he didn't actually want to go to the arcade... he just wanted to walk... and walk... and walk... and walk.......

We walked across the street after eating "the best food around."  We walked to the boardwalk.  We walked past the frozen banana stand.  We walked past the first arcade... then the ferris wheel... then the second, third, & fourth arcades.  We walked past the carousel at the end of the arcade line up.  Then we turned around.  I thought, "Great!  He just wanted to see all of our options.  Now we'll go back and play some games!"

I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.....

We walked back past the carousel, past the fourth, third, and second arcades... then the ferris wheel... and finally past the first arcade and banana stand.  THEN, what do you think he wanted to do?  Turn around again to continue to walk past it all yet again!  I think on the fourth or fifth time past the arcades, we did stop for about 2 minutes to play one round on one of those dancing games (think- imitation Dance, Dance Revolution), but we didn't even get to finish all three rounds that came with our 50 cents.  He started to walk away after the first round, so I followed.  I mean- I didn't want to be rude!  And, I thought he might be choosing a different game... I was wrong.

Brian just wanted to keep walking... back and forth in front of all the fun games and rides!  I guess the arcade scenery got old after a while, so after a couple hours of walking back & forth, Brian suggested we just keep going straight instead of turning around.  I tried to make the conversation interesting by telling stories about the different places we past, but Brian just wanted to keep walking and asking ice breaker questions the ENTIRE TIME.

"If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?"

"If you were a vegetable, which would you be?"

"What 3 things would you bring with you to a deserted island?"

"What was your favorite subject in high school?  College?"

"What is your favorite color?"

"What is your favorite superhero?"

"Did you play any sports in high school or college?"

And so on, and so forth... In and of themselves, he wasn't asking bad questions.  But I can only handle a limited amount of shallow small talk.  5+ hours was definitely WAY beyond that limit.  In addition to that was the walking... and more walking... and more walking... and more walking... with NO destination or purpose.  In our walk beyond the arcades, we were almost closer to my house than to the car so I suggested that we turn around.  We finally got back and then went into BJ's Pizza for a Pazooki (think pizza+cookie+ice cream)... and by the time the Pazooki was gone, so was I.

I can only assume that Brian noticed my eyes struggling to stay open, so he asked if I was ready to go.  At first I asked where, but then as soon as he started to answer, I panicked a little since I had missed my opportunity to go home!  About 2 minutes more of boring-ness and I told Brian that if we stayed any longer, I would probably fall asleep again.

He drove me home, we said goodnight, and I was thrilled to close the door behind me.

I didn't even mention that in all that walking, Brian also accidentally mentioned his "so- ... son" and "dau- ...daughter."  More shocking news for me, but I guess at those points it at least provided a brief relief from the boredom.